Out of Darkness

Today there was an Out of Darkness Walk at my school. I missed it because I thought I was scheduled for other things, and I didn’t want to break promises. I know there were many Out of Darkness walks around the country. These walks are marches supporting the need to remember and give time towards the movement of Suicide Prevention, as well as remember those who’ve been affected.

I just wanted to say, both as a person who’s been there and who’s known people who’ve been there: I fully support and do not judge anyone who is suicidal or has tried or attempted suicide. I am sorry to anyone who has lost anyone to suicide. I just want you to know I support you. The suicidal. The aching. The depressed. I know it’s dark and I know its hard to see the end of the tunnel.

I pray that you’ll keep holding on to life, even through the struggles. I know it’s hard, and I know some people’s struggles are worse than others. But you’ve got this. And even if you don’t, if you’re losing it… seek help. Keep seeking help. Keep trying even after so many things don’t work out. Keep keep trying. Please. I love you. Jesus loves you. Hate me if you must, but I’ll still support you. If you need someone to talk to call this number or use the chat online: 1-800-273-8255.

Ties & Connections

Hello! It’s me again! I hope your day is going great! Mine is.

I went to church today, this morning, and in Sunday school today we went through the book of Daniel (just chapter 3). It reminded me of an event I went to in May. We also went over Revelations in the main service, and it reminded me of an event I went to with a friend last December.

I just think that it’s interesting how God can tie all these small things together and connect the smallest things in our life. Like, right now, all I’m seeing are the strings that connect things, but I’m not seeing the bigger picture. There’s probably a whole web of beauty out there and I won’t get to see it until I’m beyond the hill or over the next milestone or whatever.

All I know is that God’s planning something amazing right now. He’s making great connections and I see lots of repetition right now. And trust me, when I see lots of repetition, I know it means he about to do something. I just don’t know what yet.

However, from what I’ve learned in church today, I did find a new prayer of focus (You’ll find this prayer in the image below). I’ve been running into a lot of phases where I have to focus on something specific for a period of time, like a week or a month or so, and I think it’s just another step in my journey with him.

This is some word-art I made after going to church today. It represents a prayer that I'm going to be using as my next stepping stone with Jesus in my journey with him. The prayer reads: "Dear Jesus, please teach me to have trust, patience, and perseverance in you. Amen." This art is my own, please don't steal.
Prayer to Keep Going
~ made by me (Raina)

I don’t really know where I’m going. It’s foggy. I don’t see where I’m going. I don’t see the top of the hill, the top of the stairs. However, honestly, right now it is just simply encouraging to see that he’s still there and encouraging me. Like, to know that we’re still moving towards something, the fact that I’m still making progress means a lot. It’s enough to keep me going. It’s enough to give me hope, and encourage me to hold onto my faith.

There’s a lot of times I wonder if I’ll ever hear from Him, or if I should even be doing life like this, but I have to keep seeking. I need to persevere. I need to trust in him, and I need to have patience that he’ll answer and help me out like I need him to. I need to have patience for the right opportunity to show up or the right person or the right job and direction.

One person’s answer to the question asked in Sunday school about what we think God was trying to convey to us in the story I thought was really accurate. They said “God desires us to trust in him the most,” and I think that’s the truest statement of where I’m at right now because I don’t trust him as much as I should. I need to trust him more to grow with him and find that better place and the next step in my journey.

Are We Ever Really…?

Do you ever wonder if your thoughts are ever really original? Like, how do you know that they’re unique? How do you claim them as yours, for copyright reasons. They are your personal intellectual property, but let’s be honest. There is and has been over 7 billion people living on Earth. That only increases the possibility of more people to think alike or to have the same thought. So, is your thought your thought, or is it someone else’s and you just don’t know?

There’s a lot of times where I want to make a really fancy quote or come up with a really fancy idea. And a lot of times those things have already been thought up. Like, I think there was once in Junior High or something, I was writing a paper, and I wrote down something I thought was great. However, my teacher warned me not to plagiarize and that I should go and cite it right away. This kind of thing confused me because it came from my head. So, that’s why I ask? Are we really original? Or are we just like everyone else, or like someone else 100 years ago, and we just don’t know?

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